28 Comments
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noreen's avatar

Particularly love this: “Some of us are still trying to accept that we might be living things out of order, that we get to come back to the parts of ourselves we didn’t get to be and how it isn’t a step back, but a step forward.” 🤎

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tachijuana's avatar

It's a hard truth to accept but all in due time, thank you so much for reading!

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The light you can't hold's avatar

Thissssss is my whole purpose for being on here "Moments filled with both pain and joy, light and dark, that they blurred together before we could even understand their impact." The last 5 years for me has been lightness and darkness in every major life moment..

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Alo Safar's avatar

i love the ending. “there is room in this life for both the weight and the wonder.” i think many people whom life has tripped up once or twice feel exactly this way, but could never put it into words as beautiful as that.

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tachijuana's avatar

It's hard to remember that sometimes we can live with both, we tend to focus so much on one or the other. Thank you so much for reading x

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likha's avatar

“like I’d lived beyond my means” so so sooo beautifully written! thank you for being strong enough to move past such hardship as i was able to read such a beautiful piece!!

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tachijuana's avatar

thank you so so much, honestly I’m so appreciative for your words!!

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Agape Lover's avatar

“I think it means learning to live with the weight, without letting it steal what’s still yours.” Thank you for this gem!

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Irving A. Lerch's avatar

Well, if you're 87 but feel 89, what does that mean? On the other hand if you're 60 and feel 70 is that a preview? I don't like to be 87 and think what I was like at 40 (...too soon old, too late smart...). As we approach the speed of light in our journey to our final destination, our time freezes for all those who witness our passing. The currency of memory is smoke.

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Hal Gill's avatar

Amplified

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anshika ✨'s avatar

this was so beautifully written <3

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Dumebi Uzodimma's avatar

This was a really beautiful read. I'm so glad you've come this far to be able to share such wisdom and grace. Living with the contradiction is truly all that's left to do — and breathing. I love the last paragraph and quote especially; they beautifully summed this up.

Thank you so much for sharing 🥺🩷

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Han's avatar

Thought provoking!

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sash 🦋's avatar

this is so beautifully written, it feels like a hug for my soul. as a parentified child, thank you for articulating how i can feel 💗

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Penelope's avatar

I was so sad to go to your page and see this was your only post 🥲 I have subscribed to stay in the loop, I have found my place among your substack 🫣

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Chlo's avatar

“I was no stranger to death, to loss, or to grief.” that really hit deep.. been to a ton of funerals at a young age, that’ll take a huge toll on someone..

I really enjoyed reading this, it really spoke to me. This deserves more recognition!

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tachijuana's avatar

Thank you! And yes, also so many funerals so young. It's strange being exposed to death so young

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Bubbles CandyBubbles's avatar

I know this feeling…it’s like there’s a “Before” and “After” and nothing’s the same anymore

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tachijuana's avatar

Exactly! It always feels like you're trying to get back to the before

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tanya's avatar

I really enjoyed this and your writing spoke to me; I understand that mixed sense of impatience with a longing to be present in time

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tachijuana's avatar

It really is an oxymoron of sorts! Thank you sm for reading

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Nusaiba’s Two Cents's avatar

I randomly found you on a note you posted. Clicked on your account and read this masterpiece. This needs to be more widely read. I loved it. The impact it had on me is crazy

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tachijuana's avatar

I'm so thankful you came across this, that it impacted you and that you loved it. Thank you for sharing x

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